Saturday, September 15, 2007

Dads are not disposible!

How did we get to the point that women thought it would be ok to deny the father of her children access to their children? It is so common now for this to happen and I cannot figure out when we decided that men are a disposable commodity, not necessary in the life of a child.

My father wasn't perfect but he was a good man. He came home from five years at war with a serious medical problem and a serious drinking problem like so many other men of that time. Later on, men came home from wars with drug problems. In spite of his illnesses, he was a good guy. I have wonderful memories of him cooking breakfast on Sunday mornings or making spaghetti sauce or soup. We loved playing board games and card games and on the weekends many of our friends would come over and play poker with us. When my sister and I were older and had kids, he rented a cottage so that we could all have a special holiday together. I doubt that the kids remember, but I do.

My mom was the very best and I have no doubt that we would have managed pretty well if my dad wasn't in the picture but it certainly wouldn't have been the same and I wouldn't be the same person that I am.

My big regret is that I didn't let my dad know how much I loved him and how much I respected him for all the things he did and all the things he tried to do for us before he was gone.

Women now have dad thrown out of the house, deny him access to the kids and then, if he puts up a fuss, they lie about abuse or have him charged with rape.

Those kids need their dad. They will spend their growing years missing him and thinking that he doesn't love them. Those feelings will affect them for their entire life. Their sons will go through life feeling inadequate about everything and their daughters will spend their lives looking for affirmation about themselves from men.

Moms and dads are important to the development of a child. For heavens sake, unless dad is an ax murderer, work through counseling or whatever is required to keep him in your children's lives.

Dads are not disposable!

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